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Monkey_Stephen
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Name: Kwan
Birthday: 9/12/1986
Gender: Male


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Member Since: 12/23/2004

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Joint School Science Exhibition (JSSE)
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[ H K U * A C * 0 4 ]
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...gAsSmellErs...
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O3 -- Out of Ourselves
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ILOP 10
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Lady Ho Tung Hall Bridge Team
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Hong Kong Baptish Church(Youth) ^.^
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We are UnDerGrouNd FelloWsHip!!~~
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Sunday, December 06, 2009

Thinking Too Much

I like thinking but somehow I think too much

when I focus on my feeling and my some called thoughts, my mood gets worse

What on earth am I spending so much time thinking without really doing anything?

What on earth am I spending so much time on my feeling and self-pitty?

Um...Better go back to the Bible....

 

Jesus said, I told you all these things so that your joy may be complete.

He also said, My peace I leave with you. My peace I give you. The peace I give you is not like anybody gives.

Peace and Joy.

I wish I have more...together with some wisdom and maturity~


Thursday, December 03, 2009

Will never blog in fb again

FB is really an open area....Basically everything of your life is viewed by others...

This is especially true when you have a young boss who is so free to care about you on facebook....

I don't know if that's a good idea of him knowing me better but I certainly don't feel comfortable for that.....

So I will never ever share my stuff on the fb again...leave that just as a messaging tools la....

 

These days I really had made too many mistakes in work....too much that I doubt if I have anything to contribute at work...while most are working until midnight......I can leave at around 8 to 9....that's good...may be? but I am feeling useless there....

may be that's my pride? checked too little things...(I checked for 3 times already actually)..too say things without really thinking how others may feel? ....actually I have to admit that my office is full of people far smarter than me...in every way I guess....

 

Ok...back to life~ may be I should not focus on my own feeling too much


Friday, August 28, 2009

About Me

These days have been spending much of my time studying and working. Dare not take too much time to do other stuff since the thick piles of notes are yet to be unfolded -.-"

It is under stress when one shows his true personality. I am an attention seeking person. Somehow, I just want to talk to others what I have done. Sometimes, it might feel that I am showing off. Sorry for that. But in fact, I yarn for more attention.

May be that's how it worked when I was young. I get attention by doing better in my study. I used to think I have changed. In fact, not much.

I truly feel myself is too proud. Both spiritually and in work. Spiritually, one cannot sustain his spiritual health without input from bible and prayer which I spent scarely any time to do. At work, I feel I can master my work and other's expectation and hence feel pride.

Many times I think, when Jesus came to earth, did he boost around saying that he knows about everything in the universe? No, he didn't. It is funny that how your mind and actual behaviour mismatches. You want to change but you naturally do differently.

Many times, I think I am thinking too much of myself. Not my responsibility as a cell leader nor as the only child living at home. I feel I should have done more. Like speading gosbel to my family and help my cellmates to come near to God. But somehow, I feel strengthless to do it.

May be I am too focus on myself. Focus on the cross will be better?

Hear me O' Lord and answer, I am poor and needy.

Guard my life for I am devoted to you

Hear my prayer, O Lord, and my cry for mercy

In the day of trouble I will call to you.

I love this song so much. It reminds me that he is the only God I can count on. Not myself.


Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Cup Noodles

Although some good news on work lately, the working hours have been really crazy these days.

I seldom eat cup noodles in the past. However, I have had 2 in these 2 weeks already.

Yes, compared to most of my colleagues and classmates, mine is really considered to be the shortest.

However, I don't really want to be like that.

Though I tried to give my best, I don't want to work as a slave. We should have some "life", right?

Starting from when did meeting friends after work or working less than 10 hours become a sin?

Um....

Forgive me to be complaining here... I know I have had a lot already. The wave in emotion just can't keep up with your brain. Call me a moody one....

 

I wish to find a meaning in my work. For now, I can't see much which has eternal value. Well, may be enduring is one. Relying on God is one. Humble is one.....

May your will be done on earth as in heave.

What is He thinking in Heaven?


Sunday, August 02, 2009

Finding myself

Today when I was in the youth worship, I felt myself not true-heartedly worshipping.

When I was singing, "God is all my honour and glory" (forgive my poor translation)., I found myself not acting that indeed.

When I worked, I worked for my own statisfaction or to satisify the expectation of others.

When I was in churched, I acted well, how to say, churchly. Haha... That is not exactly what I am doing in the real life. I didn't go out and spread the gosbel and kept giving reasons to myself.

When I prayed, how many times do I whole-heartedly pray? Giving the deepest needs to God? When did I really pray for the kingdom and the will of God?

 

I wish I could be worshipping frankly and honesty. I really wish the words I sang became what I do.

The glad thing is that God accepted me even though I am such an unworthy person.

I watched a TV show on cable. Talking about the forgivness of Jesus Christ.

We always say forgive and Christians ought to forgive since God has forgiven us. however, is forgiving easy?

Not at all. I think every person who has truly forgiven others would say that.

How about God forgiving us? Not easy neither.

He paid his life and suffered both physically and mentally. Yet, you can have choice to believe him.

We may have taken his forgivness too easily. Coz it has already happened!

Is it?

 

Finding one self is difficult in this world. To know the person next to you is difficult. however, it is even more difficult to know yourself. I believe God will help me to understand more and change me though. =)



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